Alta Vista woman writes book about son's spiral into drugs
Posted Feb 2, 2012 By Eddie RwemaEMC Entertainment - Mary Howell, a long time resident of Alta Vista, spends her retirement years doing her favourite childhood hobby - writing.
Currently, Howell is seeking a publisher for what she considers her most important work - a creative non fiction narrative book "Summers of China White" that describes the 10-year addiction and final death of her oldest son Karl from heroin and cocaine.
It took her five years to write the book and she is now hoping to have it published as soon as she can find a credible publisher.
"There are lots of publishers out there but to find one that has an earned reputation is the most difficult thing," said Howell.
"It is a little discouraging that some publishers can't even get back to you."
Karl had been dead for more than 10 years when his brother Mark suggested to Howell to write his story.
"My son managed to destroy himself on his drug of choice over a 10 year period and my other son asked me to write about it," said Howell.
The body of her son was found on the floor of a crack house in downtown Ottawa and no note was found.
"I don't know whether he committed suicide or whether someone killed him," Howell recalled.
Whatever it was in life that Karl found so hard to face sober, Howell said she will never know.
She hopes a lot of parents with children on drugs can relate to her story.
"I have read from drug addicts themselves but they don't real know what is going on in their families," Howell said.
"They only know about the highs and lows of them. They can't see what is happening to their families and those that love them."
She said the death of her son, was an irrevocable dismissal of her love.
"It would take years to accept that the death of a child, no matter what age, could never move beyond yesterday for a mother," Howell wrote.
It took years of isolated torment before she accepted that love isn't always enough and anger makes a potent diet.
She credits her healing process to a phone call she received from Karl's young daughter, who was given up to the courts as a baby after her father's death, asking to meet her.
An award-winning poet, Howell has published travel articles, essays and short stories in three provinces and recently won first prize at the Ottawa Independent Writers yearly poetry reading.
Howell is now working on an anthology of connecting stories and essays - Growing Up Strong, which is a tale of her childhood years on the rock in a family of 12, parents who could barely read or write but seemed to carry the strength and wisdom of generations within their genetic code.
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